My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
