Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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