Rock
Scissors
Fuck
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
