Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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