I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
