We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
