Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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