if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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