I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im holly from the hills drunk
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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