So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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