I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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