I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
