the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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