can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
