one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
