Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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