making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
