he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
