I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
