thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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