what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
