once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
