she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Green mimosas i think yes
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
