well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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