dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
