I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
where are you?
Hypothermia
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
