Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
