we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
