You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
this just has baby written all over it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
