Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
