i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
