This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
