I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There's always time for handjobs
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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