How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
