Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
