I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
