Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
