i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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