I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
