fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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