need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
