His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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