I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
