he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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