someone threw a dead crab at me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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