So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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