Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Your cock deserves a montage
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize