Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
