Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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