Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
