as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
