I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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