tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
