Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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