For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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