I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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