Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
