The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
