Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
