In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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