there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
