Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
