he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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