i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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