we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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