Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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