whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
