Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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